thinking of....

You seemed to say
You seemed to accept me for who I was
You said, “I missed…”
But I never heard what it was
You missed.

You waited,
You listened.
You talked. I heard, but
I didn’t understand
Difference opens up a chasm
That was always there.

You came with me and sat with me
Stayed a little while.
But your many fingers dipped into
Too many wishes
And I
Became stretched too thin.

You left, a part of you stayed
I won’t be afraid to say I missed you
It’s absence that made the heart
Grow further, but fonder,
And reconciliation more difficult.

You said, “Let me help you.”
You said, “Let me give you.”
I said, “You want too much.”
And then you replied,
“It’s expected.”

You came with your heart to mend
To me, to mend.
To your mind, I did.
To mine, I broke it further.

Then you promised to stay true
Was I to hold on to that promise,
Way past its due date?
Do I have a stake before letting go?

And the faraway memory that you are now
Leads me on to no end.

thinking of....

Raha! See how my words influence people! hahaha. Well I actually have nothing much to write and my brain's too dead for me to squeeze anything out at the moment so oh well. Maybe I should try a haiku.

She smiled at the building.
Beige, blue, big, airy, happy
It was home for her.

The river flowed on
Unceasingly, just like the
Love of a parent.

For a place always
Full of sunshine, love and joy
Some longed day and night.

thinking of....

how much i don't want this to die...

please.

jia, liz . don't let this just wither and dissipate, in some sense this represents our friendship (yes, i know we have much more than a blog to show our friendship) but don't let this just disappear, that's not how we envisioned the future right? so what if we are in different places, let us at least have a semblance of thought, joy, appreciation and love...

we are all presumably veryveryvery busy now, but at least an occassional post? that'll suffice.

thankfully and gratefully i still somewhat know what's going on in your lives now...

jia: thanks for all the lee kong chian trips. we must add more to our record and we'll become fully-fledged NERDS! haaha

liz: I REALLY HOPE SA WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND YOU'LL GET IN... :)))

that's for now...

i'm trying to perform CPR

C urrent currants,

P olka dots,

(please continue)

R ocking'

:/

thinking of....

missing st margs, the beautiful green and cream walls and building, the red fanned quadtangdral, the people, long-winded but well spoken devotions, friends, 4e3, prefects, choir, teachers, 'green' club, the all-girls environment, the distinctive high-pitched anthem, the bickerings, the school song, the off-tune singing during worship, the laughter, the antics, the tears, all of the moments, the noise, the silence, the day and the night shadows of the structure i call/called my second home, the craziness of it all...

this is a valentine's day tribute ( though i don't really believe the all sheebang :p)

i <3

family (of course!)
st margs
4e3'05, 3e3'04, 2e2'03, 1e5'02
sm choir
smpb
currants! :)
those rich and famous girls
the people who left for aussieland! :(

YOU.

this was written in boredom during school...

Little did we know
O' what trouble befalls us
Valentine's day is
Exorbitant.

or

Very
Astronomical
Love in terms of
English pounds
No more
Taxis
In the
Next
Eight Months.

or

Love's not red roses,
nor creamy chocolates.
Love's not Hershley kisses,
nor sweet pink cards.
Love's not you
nor me.
Love's not about us,
love's about the
endorphins,
hormones,
chemical reactions
Insane commitment,
the Crazy, Weird, Stupid
decision, pact, agreement
we made between us.

thinking of....

Well , since Michelle the terrible girl has been forcing me to post again, here's something for your reading pleasure. But since today's a Friday and I'm in a good mood, you get a double bonus! So within ONE post, you get TWO poems! Wow! Two for the price of ONE!(okay I'm high. dammit.) Well, so here goes.(Note: Do not read too much into the poems. They are just random poems about random people in the hellhole.)

[This one has no title]
Soft feminine lips parted
With great satisfaction
Lined eyes accompanied,
Mascared eyelashes.

Lashes battering slightly,
Head tilted thoughtfully,
Yet playful in an unusual way.

The teacher nodded, deep in thought,
Displeased with the answer given.
The imparter of knowledge then stood up,
To correct the misjudgement.
Each word pronouced, articulated,
While hands were held gently together.

Feeling accomplished after explaining,
Jake returned to his seat and gazed,
Tenderly, at his new class.


My Selina(the title's JUST for you labbie! haha)
(NOTE:TAKE THIS WITH A PINCH OF SALT!)
Hair curled like instant noodles,
Sad results of a child's doodles.
Eyes like quail eggs,
They made your stomach ache,
It was suspected she had a beak.

Frame like a child,
Undernourished and thin,
Her bones where what stretched her skin.
Yet her voice like thunder,
Echoed the room,
Despite the mocking it drew.

The rebuts that came, were
Cold and harsh,
Reflecting what she was inside.
Looks were decieving,
But were names too?
Why this bitterness?
My Selina.

thinking of....

school.

for once, i shall not post poems or such because i want to share interesting nuggets from the Theory of Knowledge/ epistemology lectures i have been receiving the past few days which benefitted me greatly despite the fact that the auditorium was somewhat a human freezer! :P

questions like:

is there a god?

is there free will?

is there right or wrong?

what is thinking?

is the brain and mind separate?

we were also given issues to judge whether what should or shouldn't be done. (e.g. to torture an innocent wife of a mad bomber to divulge where the bombs were hidden?)

anyway what really struck me the most was the lecture given by this professor from nus's english/literature faculty.

she said that the difference between people who take science and arts/humanities was that

• the science people wanted the world to be factual, absolute and certain ( till one scientific theory or discovery debunks the former)
• whereas the others (humans/arts) could deal with the world being everchanging, ambiguous and indefinite.

so you see, the perception of the world in these two spheres differ greatly. i was greatly comforted by her speech because i was still in the middle of wondering whether i am more 'science' or 'humans'. (though i chose a humans based course of study --- lit, history, econs, maths) so when she said that, i felt that she managed to arrange my jumbled thoughts and ideas in a logical manner and without hesitation, i knew at that juncture that i wanted/could deal with an ambiguous and uncertain world because i could never take things at face value.

the tests that i took during the course on skepticism also convinced me more.

it asked questions like:

Doctors really know the causes of diseases?

There's an objective difference between right and wrong?

Morals are just made up by societies to make people behave in convenient ways?

anyhow, if you are still wavering between arts and science, just ask yourself this question:

CAN I DEAL WITH AN UNCERTAIN AND AMBIGUOUS WORLD where there are grey areas and little black and white ones

OR WOULD I RATHER HAVE A FIRMLY EMBEDDED VIEW OF THE WORLD WHERE MOST THINGS ARE CERTAIN?

you will have your answer.

thinking of....

Memory.
She fumbled around
Searching, looking, trying.
She remembered just minutes ago
Yet now she was lost.

In the cold bitter winter,
Of her mudane normal life,
It came like a thief creeping,
In the dark loveless night.
He stole, killed and destroyed,
What memories she once had.
Now they were nearly gone,
An empty shell was left.

Rocking in her favourite chair,
She combed her snowy hair.
Recalling the glorious days,
Where her children pleased her in their ways.
These things she remembered and held dear
Now where were her keys?
She pondered and peered
As Alzheimer pointed, laughed and jeered.


Really Sze and Jia, you guys should pay me for every post I write! Then it would be an incentive for me to post more often right? heh heh. (:

thinking of....

unreachable

he's beautiful
so whole, so perfect
so untouchable.
he makes them squeal with desire/laughter
so unknowingly.

uncannily
i've found his perfection
too much to bear.
painfully unaware
he walks off
a solitary figure so surrounded.

Szemin hasn't been posting, and I'd like to know why!!